Creating and Sustaining Relationships

Falling in love is a natural process, blending our emotions with physical and chemical responses. But sustaining a caring relationship requires more than having warm caring feelings.  Important components of a partnership include mutual respect, affection, a sense of goodwill, emotional safety, persistence, humor, honesty, and motivation.  Additionally, it’s important for couples skillful at communicating, problem-solving, and resolving differences.  Unfortunately, these attitudes and skills do not come automatically with being in a committed relationship.

I can help you understand what assets and liabilities you bring to a relationship, how your relationship developed, and how to create a sustainable and satisfying relationship.

In therapy, I’ll help you to:

• Understand the variables of the selection process, including your assets and liabilities
• Examine your realistic and unrealistic expectations
• Recognize the elements of a power struggle when you discover your differences
• Develop effective communication
• Learn to simultaneously respect yourself and your partner while discussing differences
• Effectively resolve differences as they arise; and modify the resolution when necessary
• Avoid criticism, contempt, defensiveness, belligerence and/or withdrawal
• Create a healing environment as you experience increased joy and passion within the relationship
• Deepen intimacy and increase your sexual enjoyment

You’ll learn the pitfalls of unrealistically believing:  "If you love me, you'll accept me as I am.  You'll change to be exactly who I want you to be."  You will rather come to appreciate that compassionate lovers believe, "If I love you, I'm committed to respecting both you and me, as we strive to create a rich and satisfying life together."